Has your inner critic’s voice gotten way too loud?

Who else has been wounded by folks saying there’s something “wrong” with you? How many times have you been told you’re “too this” or “not enough that”? This shit hurts. It makes us feel shame about who we are and conditions us to put on a mask of who we think people want us to be. In doing so, we end up making ourselves smaller and apologizing for existing as we are.

The same goes when we are continually praised for behaving under predetermined social norms. Maybe you were a kid who “never gets into trouble” or was “just so easy.” Even as kids we internalize this reinforcement and the people-pleasing becomes an automatic defense. Again, we mask our true selves.

If I asked you who you are, would you know how to answer?

When we consistently prioritize others’ comfort, we neglect our own desires. In doing so, we gradually lose sight of what truly matters to us, casting a shadow over our sense of self. Over time, this pattern can lead to a profound disconnection from our own identities, leaving us struggling to discern our wants, needs, and values. This can get lonely because if we are unable to recognize ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to truly see us?

Why I utilize a self-compassionate approach to help you rediscover who you are.

When it comes to our self-esteem, I believe that much of our suffering stems from the way we talk to ourselves. I get it. You want to protect yourself from other people’s judgment by pointing out your “flaws” before anyone else can. However, this internal dialogue often leads to self-deprecation and personal anguish. To end the suffering we need to stop being such a bully to ourselves and instead cultivate self-compassion and loving-kindness.

In therapy, we will expose the lies of your inner critic and uncover who you really are behind the mask. By welcoming a gentler inner dialogue, your true self learns to recognize its safety in being known. My hope is that by embracing a more self-compassionate approach, you will discover self-acceptance, gain confidence projecting authenticity, and foster more genuine connections with others.